WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize
