Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Randomize
