I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
