He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
