FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
