There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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