btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Randomize
