Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
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