I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
Randomize
