none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
We just shotgunned beers for America
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Randomize
