I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
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