It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Randomize