So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
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