My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
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