i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
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