I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize
