Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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