Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
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