Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
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