420 ftw
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
