i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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