I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
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