I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Randomize