Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
He? As in you personified your dick?
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize
