your room smells of hookers.
And success
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
