Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
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And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
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