You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
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