No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Randomize
