I wannas sexs uuuuu
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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