i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
