Do you still have your period?
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
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