i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Randomize