The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Randomize
