So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
my nose is crying tears of wow.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
