It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
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