they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
