He uses pillows to masturbate.
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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