Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
