woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Randomize
