I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Randomize
