That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize
