susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
