either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
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