watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
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