if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
