Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Randomize
