I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
