Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize
