He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Randomize
