hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
