Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
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