She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
