The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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