doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
