he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
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