And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
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