If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
