Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize