But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
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