that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
