Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
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