I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
Randomize
