once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
