The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
